Virtual Scrapbooking Is Amazing!
10:42 PM Posted In scrapbook Edit This 1 Comment »
I decided to make a virtual scrapbook with some of the photos I took this weekend. Enjoy!
Bisous!
Erika
Erika
Day-old Delaware Chickens
11 years ago
Over The Weekend
8:55 PM Posted In family , job , vacation Edit This 0 Comments »
Sorry for my absence, again! I was out of town this weekend and at a lovely place called Shrinemont. I look forward to this church retreat every year. There is a seminar and a keynote speaker but every year I skip out on the seminar. I love learning, but when I have the choice of being cooped up in a room and being outside with nature, I'm going to choose being outside. Especially when I'm surrounded by trees, flowers, ponds, and of course mountains. I had an amazing time hiking, painting, playing bocce ball, hanging out with some of my favorite people, and taking lots of pictures. It was unusually warm over the weekend, it was almost 90 degrees on Saturday but a surprise rain storm brought the temperatures down.
I've figured out what I want to do for my job to get me readjusted to working again. I want to work for a florist, something to do a few days a week. Arranging flowers seems right up my alley, since it is a creative outlet. All I need now is transportation and of course a florist to hire me. Luckily there are some florists in my area. I'm apprehensive to call and pursue this until I know for sure I will have transportation. Unfortunately, I'm not financially able to purchase a car right now and my Dad sold my old car a while back. I keep hoping that something will work out and some how, some way, I will get a car. That's the only thing holding me back! Too bad a car company isn't reading this. But why would they care about me anyway?
Oh and I almost had a heart attack on Sunday. My Dad asked how my weekend was. Yes, I am just was just as surprised as those of you reading this. Granted he didn't ask how my day was today and it probably won't happen again for quite a while. I understand it's a start, that's how I'm seeing it, but it could also just be a mistake. I wish he could be that nice every day. I know that asking how a person's day is really isn't qualification for being considered nice. But for my Dad, it is. I think he is starting to realize that if he doesn't respect me, he will lose me forever. I deserve to be respected and treated nicely, especially since I work so hard not to upset him.
In other news, on Friday I brought my amazing iPod mini back to life. Yes, the electronic device that died about a month ago was resurrected. On Friday morning, something told me to try to make my iPod work one more time. Lo and behold after many buttons being pressed in no particular order, my iPod came back to life! I had probably pressed the same buttons in the same order about 100 times before. But this time, my iPod decided to "make it work." I think it realized if it didn't wake up, it wouldn't get to go to Shrinemont. Besides, I couldn't fathom going to Shrinemont without my iPod. I have a Shrinemont soundtrack on there too with some favorite songs that match the mood of Shrinemont.
I'm exhausted, Shrinemont always wears me out. I did go for a walk this evening with my Mom. I don't like to go off schedule and luckily the heat wasn't too oppressive today. The lack of humidity helped too! So my Mom and I took a medium length walk once she got off of work. I don't know if walking is really helping me at all, but it's a low impact exercise that doesn't disturb my joints. Plus it's affordable since I don't have money to be joining a gym, nor do I have transportation to a gym!
I've figured out what I want to do for my job to get me readjusted to working again. I want to work for a florist, something to do a few days a week. Arranging flowers seems right up my alley, since it is a creative outlet. All I need now is transportation and of course a florist to hire me. Luckily there are some florists in my area. I'm apprehensive to call and pursue this until I know for sure I will have transportation. Unfortunately, I'm not financially able to purchase a car right now and my Dad sold my old car a while back. I keep hoping that something will work out and some how, some way, I will get a car. That's the only thing holding me back! Too bad a car company isn't reading this. But why would they care about me anyway?
Oh and I almost had a heart attack on Sunday. My Dad asked how my weekend was. Yes, I am just was just as surprised as those of you reading this. Granted he didn't ask how my day was today and it probably won't happen again for quite a while. I understand it's a start, that's how I'm seeing it, but it could also just be a mistake. I wish he could be that nice every day. I know that asking how a person's day is really isn't qualification for being considered nice. But for my Dad, it is. I think he is starting to realize that if he doesn't respect me, he will lose me forever. I deserve to be respected and treated nicely, especially since I work so hard not to upset him.
In other news, on Friday I brought my amazing iPod mini back to life. Yes, the electronic device that died about a month ago was resurrected. On Friday morning, something told me to try to make my iPod work one more time. Lo and behold after many buttons being pressed in no particular order, my iPod came back to life! I had probably pressed the same buttons in the same order about 100 times before. But this time, my iPod decided to "make it work." I think it realized if it didn't wake up, it wouldn't get to go to Shrinemont. Besides, I couldn't fathom going to Shrinemont without my iPod. I have a Shrinemont soundtrack on there too with some favorite songs that match the mood of Shrinemont.
I'm exhausted, Shrinemont always wears me out. I did go for a walk this evening with my Mom. I don't like to go off schedule and luckily the heat wasn't too oppressive today. The lack of humidity helped too! So my Mom and I took a medium length walk once she got off of work. I don't know if walking is really helping me at all, but it's a low impact exercise that doesn't disturb my joints. Plus it's affordable since I don't have money to be joining a gym, nor do I have transportation to a gym!
Bisous!
Erika
Erika
A gigantic and overdue update!
10:13 AM Posted In art , family Edit This 0 Comments »
Sorry I haven't updated in a while! I have been really busy here lately and in between being busy, I've been recovering from being busy. Over the weekend, a good friend of mine got married and I was invited to the wedding. I had such a good time and it was amazing to see some people whom I haven't seen in a while. It was lovely to be able to reconnect. The bride and groom were too cute for words and I am thrilled for the both of them! I was so close to catching the bouquet as well, there was a bet going that I was going to catch it. Unfortunately, the tall people in the world have advantage over the short people, therefore, I lost. Oh well! Another friend of mine is getting married next year, another wedding, another chance to catch the bouquet. Here's a picture of me at the wedding in the beautiful dress my Mom made me.
I've been doing a lot of painting here lately too! I used to try to sell my art but then people lost interest. But if anyone reading this is interested, please let me know. Here is some of my latest art.
Strumming To Entice The Butterflies
2.5X3.5 inch watercolor
Even Butterflies Feel Dark When In Love
4X4 inch watercolor
Here lately, there have been some things I wish I could get off my chest. If you don't know this, the relationship I have with my Dad is strained. It never used to be like this, until a few years ago. I used to the apple of his eye, he was so proud of me and everything I did, and even if I did something wrong in his eyes, he would forgive me not too long after.
Unfortunately time changes people, life changes people, and our lives have changed us both. I think he sees me as some sort of alien, not the daughter he knew and loved. In a way, he looks at me like I have screwed up my life beyond belief, as if I'm crazy and a horrible, horrible daughter. The way he acts towards me makes me feel like I am the worst person ever. He has the ability to hurt me in ways that no one else can. And yet, apparently, he loves me. He doesn't express it in any way, I certainly cannot see it in his eyes, but apparently he does. I think it's a lie, I would know if my Dad loved me and here's how. I would feel it, but I don't, all I feel is a burning hate towards me. All I feel when he looks at me is shame, he is ashamed to have me as his daughter.
If ever I could tell him what I feel, this is what I would say.
Dear Dad (if it's OK that I call you that, but I don't really see you as being one),
I don't know where I went wrong in your eyes. I don't know how I screwed up. I didn't think I did anything wrong and most of the things that have gone wrong in my life, were things I couldn't control. I'm sorry that I've let you down all of these years and I'm not the daughter you envisioned me to be. It hurts me every day to know that you are not proud of me. My heart aches knowing that you are ashamed of me and that I am a disgrace in your eyes.
I'm trying to do the best I can with what I have. You certainly are not helping me in the way that a father should. All you do is break me down and feel as if I am the lowest, most useless creature ever. You sometimes make me wish I could run far, far away from here. But we both know I can't, we both know I'm stuck here for a while. I want to have a job, an education, a car, an apartment, I want to have those things I used to have. But slowly each one of those things got taken away by no fault of my own. Yet, you blame me for it, you blame me every time you can. You may not say it, but I feel it, and I see it in your eyes.
I wish I could make you proud, and maybe one day I will? Maybe one day I will be able to be the person that I can only dream of for now. I have a feeling though, that no matter who I become and what I accomplish, it will never be enough for you. You will always pick on me and make me feel like I am nothing. And I've come to the conclusion that you say the things that you do to me because it makes you feel like more of a man. Let me assure you though, that it makes you less of a man in my eyes. It makes you less of a father too. If you want pick on someone, if you want to hurt someone with your words, try hurting yourself first. Then maybe, just maybe you will realize the detrimental effects of your actions.
I hope you're happy Dad, I really do. I would never wish what I have to go through on a day to day basis on anyone. I would never wish the physical and emotional damage it does to me on anyone. I would never wish that you would have to hear the words that come out of people's mouths when you least expect it. I would never wish the feeling that I have inside my heart right now on you. It hurts more than you could ever imagine.
So I hope you're happy Dad, I really do. I hope you're happy with your dance lessons, shoes, and parties. I hope that people compliment day and night on how you are such an amazing dancer. I hope all the money you spend on it too is worth it, I'm sure it is though. It makes you look like an amazing person but I know that for now, you aren't. God help you if you do something nice for the other daughter, meaning me. You will go out of your way for my sister but if I were trapped under a boulder, you wouldn't even call 911. One of these days I'm going to be somebody and I'm going to go somewhere. And some day, some where, someone will be proud of me and I hope you realize that.
I've been doing a lot of painting here lately too! I used to try to sell my art but then people lost interest. But if anyone reading this is interested, please let me know. Here is some of my latest art.
Strumming To Entice The Butterflies2.5X3.5 inch watercolor
Even Butterflies Feel Dark When In Love4X4 inch watercolor
Here lately, there have been some things I wish I could get off my chest. If you don't know this, the relationship I have with my Dad is strained. It never used to be like this, until a few years ago. I used to the apple of his eye, he was so proud of me and everything I did, and even if I did something wrong in his eyes, he would forgive me not too long after.
Unfortunately time changes people, life changes people, and our lives have changed us both. I think he sees me as some sort of alien, not the daughter he knew and loved. In a way, he looks at me like I have screwed up my life beyond belief, as if I'm crazy and a horrible, horrible daughter. The way he acts towards me makes me feel like I am the worst person ever. He has the ability to hurt me in ways that no one else can. And yet, apparently, he loves me. He doesn't express it in any way, I certainly cannot see it in his eyes, but apparently he does. I think it's a lie, I would know if my Dad loved me and here's how. I would feel it, but I don't, all I feel is a burning hate towards me. All I feel when he looks at me is shame, he is ashamed to have me as his daughter.
If ever I could tell him what I feel, this is what I would say.
Dear Dad (if it's OK that I call you that, but I don't really see you as being one),
I don't know where I went wrong in your eyes. I don't know how I screwed up. I didn't think I did anything wrong and most of the things that have gone wrong in my life, were things I couldn't control. I'm sorry that I've let you down all of these years and I'm not the daughter you envisioned me to be. It hurts me every day to know that you are not proud of me. My heart aches knowing that you are ashamed of me and that I am a disgrace in your eyes.
I'm trying to do the best I can with what I have. You certainly are not helping me in the way that a father should. All you do is break me down and feel as if I am the lowest, most useless creature ever. You sometimes make me wish I could run far, far away from here. But we both know I can't, we both know I'm stuck here for a while. I want to have a job, an education, a car, an apartment, I want to have those things I used to have. But slowly each one of those things got taken away by no fault of my own. Yet, you blame me for it, you blame me every time you can. You may not say it, but I feel it, and I see it in your eyes.
I wish I could make you proud, and maybe one day I will? Maybe one day I will be able to be the person that I can only dream of for now. I have a feeling though, that no matter who I become and what I accomplish, it will never be enough for you. You will always pick on me and make me feel like I am nothing. And I've come to the conclusion that you say the things that you do to me because it makes you feel like more of a man. Let me assure you though, that it makes you less of a man in my eyes. It makes you less of a father too. If you want pick on someone, if you want to hurt someone with your words, try hurting yourself first. Then maybe, just maybe you will realize the detrimental effects of your actions.
I hope you're happy Dad, I really do. I would never wish what I have to go through on a day to day basis on anyone. I would never wish the physical and emotional damage it does to me on anyone. I would never wish that you would have to hear the words that come out of people's mouths when you least expect it. I would never wish the feeling that I have inside my heart right now on you. It hurts more than you could ever imagine.
So I hope you're happy Dad, I really do. I hope you're happy with your dance lessons, shoes, and parties. I hope that people compliment day and night on how you are such an amazing dancer. I hope all the money you spend on it too is worth it, I'm sure it is though. It makes you look like an amazing person but I know that for now, you aren't. God help you if you do something nice for the other daughter, meaning me. You will go out of your way for my sister but if I were trapped under a boulder, you wouldn't even call 911. One of these days I'm going to be somebody and I'm going to go somewhere. And some day, some where, someone will be proud of me and I hope you realize that.
Sincerely,
Erika
Well blog readers, this is all I have for now. I don't normally like to air my dirty laundry in public but some things just need to be said. I can't hold everything in forever and I shouldn't be expected to either. I'm tired of playing make believe and letting people think everything is OK with my Dad when it really isn't. My Mom will probably kill me for writing this, but I get picked on enough by my Dad. She says he is trying to do better, but until I witness it, I won't believe it.
Erika
Well blog readers, this is all I have for now. I don't normally like to air my dirty laundry in public but some things just need to be said. I can't hold everything in forever and I shouldn't be expected to either. I'm tired of playing make believe and letting people think everything is OK with my Dad when it really isn't. My Mom will probably kill me for writing this, but I get picked on enough by my Dad. She says he is trying to do better, but until I witness it, I won't believe it.
Bisous!
Erika
Erika
Too good for government work?
7:05 PM Posted In cooking , lupus Edit This 2 Comments »
Ah! What a busy day! I've cleaned, cooked, baked, cleaned some more, went to Target, had a final dress fitting, now I'm back at home. Honestly, I'm exhausted and my version of exhausted is probably much different than yours. Take the tired feeling you have at the end of your worst day and multiply it by 100, that's what I feel on a day to day basis. And no, I'm not exaggerating, I'm also still expected to function. I get to do it all without coffee and soda too!
Today I baked an experimental batch of cookies which was a mesh of a bunch of different recipes. The main idea is a low sugar homemade nutella double chocolate chip cookie. Sounds unbelievable and inconceivable right? Wrong! Each cookie has about .03 grams of sugar, which is very, very low. It's virtually impossible to make a homemade cookie that is sugar free especially if you use real vanilla extract. Plus the hazelnuts in my homemade nutella have their own natural sugars. Anyway, baking with Splenda is a huge experiment which the home bakers, such as I, are constantly working on. It's difficult to get the results that one would get if they used sugar. Often times the cookies won't spread on their own so if you want a flat cookie, you have to mash it flat. But I actually prefer the cute half dome cookies that I have perfected.
Laid off from work? Stocks in the toilet? Wondering if you're 401K is worth anything? Eat a "Too Good For Government Work" cookie and for a moment, none of that will matter. Here's the delightful goodness that even Martha Stewart couldn't create!
Oh and my internist called me today, how exciting! Anyway, I'm finishing up my round of antibiotics to "be on the safe side." In the second full week of May I have a follow up appointment. I'm going to have the same tests run and if they come back abnormal, we will go from there. If they come back normal, then we have solved the problem. Why so late to have an appointment you may ask? To give me time to finish up my super pills and then have time for all remnants of the medication to get out of my system. That way my test results will be a bit more accurate.
Tomorrow I'm going to a wedding, I've got one more fitting for my dress my Mom is making me. We are having to take it in because it was a bit on the big side. Hopefully it will turn out OK? I'm looking a bit different since I've gained weight, which I needed to in the first place. But it's leaving me feeling fat and dumpy, I guess I'll get used to my new figure? I haven't walked this past week, just because of the whole kidney party I was having and then the doctors stuff, and then I've been exhausted beyond belief. Hopefully I can get back to walking next week? Perhaps I'll take a short walk tomorrow morning, maybe it will invigorate me?
I'm still Twittering by the way, I'm getting used to it! Thank you everyone on Twitter who's reading my blog, I really appreciate it. Y'all are awesome for welcoming me into the Twitterverse.
Today I baked an experimental batch of cookies which was a mesh of a bunch of different recipes. The main idea is a low sugar homemade nutella double chocolate chip cookie. Sounds unbelievable and inconceivable right? Wrong! Each cookie has about .03 grams of sugar, which is very, very low. It's virtually impossible to make a homemade cookie that is sugar free especially if you use real vanilla extract. Plus the hazelnuts in my homemade nutella have their own natural sugars. Anyway, baking with Splenda is a huge experiment which the home bakers, such as I, are constantly working on. It's difficult to get the results that one would get if they used sugar. Often times the cookies won't spread on their own so if you want a flat cookie, you have to mash it flat. But I actually prefer the cute half dome cookies that I have perfected.
Laid off from work? Stocks in the toilet? Wondering if you're 401K is worth anything? Eat a "Too Good For Government Work" cookie and for a moment, none of that will matter. Here's the delightful goodness that even Martha Stewart couldn't create!
Oh and my internist called me today, how exciting! Anyway, I'm finishing up my round of antibiotics to "be on the safe side." In the second full week of May I have a follow up appointment. I'm going to have the same tests run and if they come back abnormal, we will go from there. If they come back normal, then we have solved the problem. Why so late to have an appointment you may ask? To give me time to finish up my super pills and then have time for all remnants of the medication to get out of my system. That way my test results will be a bit more accurate.Tomorrow I'm going to a wedding, I've got one more fitting for my dress my Mom is making me. We are having to take it in because it was a bit on the big side. Hopefully it will turn out OK? I'm looking a bit different since I've gained weight, which I needed to in the first place. But it's leaving me feeling fat and dumpy, I guess I'll get used to my new figure? I haven't walked this past week, just because of the whole kidney party I was having and then the doctors stuff, and then I've been exhausted beyond belief. Hopefully I can get back to walking next week? Perhaps I'll take a short walk tomorrow morning, maybe it will invigorate me?
I'm still Twittering by the way, I'm getting used to it! Thank you everyone on Twitter who's reading my blog, I really appreciate it. Y'all are awesome for welcoming me into the Twitterverse.
Bisous!
Erika
It's Just Twittertastic!
7:52 PM Posted In art , family Edit This 0 Comments »
Today has been a really good day! My renal ultrasound came back in the clear so that means I probably just have an infection until further notice. I'm on antibiotics so hopefully the inflammation will go down soon. I'm still having some pain that comes and goes. Right now it's coming. I also have some stiffness and pain in my neck but I'm not really concerned for now. I think I've had such a busy day where it is all catching up with me.
This morning I planned on being productive but I wasn't. I was just too tired, I feel like I can't get enough sleep. Plus I feel like I've been running around like a crazy person. I wanted to take a walk but I just couldn't get the motivation up. I really wanted to hang out with my sister and have a paint party. I was completely craving the outdoors and I longed to feel sunlight. Luckily Lindsay agreed and we went to the new cafe that Ellwood Thompson's opened. I had a green tea and Lindsay had a coffee. We sat outside, don't worry, I was fully covered and wore sunscreen. I painted, she piddled on the internet, and then she joined in the painting party. I wanted to give her a little something for her new apartment, here's the masterpiece!
Lindsay also got the brilliant idea that I should starting Twittering. Yes, I'm now part of the Twitter clan. I don't quite understand it but my sister thinks it would be a good way for me to advertise my blog. I'm going to try it and see how it works out for me. On a side note, I feel like my sister and I are growing closer. I think we are able to bond better when we have an activity, like painting. We have completely different thoughts when it comes to shopping, cooking, personal appearance, and just about anything else. But we both try to be artistic and I think we have fun doing it. She mentioned that she felt calmer after painting. I'm saving myself therapy bills by painting, it definitely mellows me out. What stinks though is I can only paint when I feel inspired.
Anyway, I need to go now. I'm really not feeling so well and I think I need to rest. I'll be back to my peppy self tomorrow, don't y'all worry. Oh, and my sister thinks my blog will be more personal if I sign it like I will be signing today.
This morning I planned on being productive but I wasn't. I was just too tired, I feel like I can't get enough sleep. Plus I feel like I've been running around like a crazy person. I wanted to take a walk but I just couldn't get the motivation up. I really wanted to hang out with my sister and have a paint party. I was completely craving the outdoors and I longed to feel sunlight. Luckily Lindsay agreed and we went to the new cafe that Ellwood Thompson's opened. I had a green tea and Lindsay had a coffee. We sat outside, don't worry, I was fully covered and wore sunscreen. I painted, she piddled on the internet, and then she joined in the painting party. I wanted to give her a little something for her new apartment, here's the masterpiece!
Lindsay also got the brilliant idea that I should starting Twittering. Yes, I'm now part of the Twitter clan. I don't quite understand it but my sister thinks it would be a good way for me to advertise my blog. I'm going to try it and see how it works out for me. On a side note, I feel like my sister and I are growing closer. I think we are able to bond better when we have an activity, like painting. We have completely different thoughts when it comes to shopping, cooking, personal appearance, and just about anything else. But we both try to be artistic and I think we have fun doing it. She mentioned that she felt calmer after painting. I'm saving myself therapy bills by painting, it definitely mellows me out. What stinks though is I can only paint when I feel inspired.Anyway, I need to go now. I'm really not feeling so well and I think I need to rest. I'll be back to my peppy self tomorrow, don't y'all worry. Oh, and my sister thinks my blog will be more personal if I sign it like I will be signing today.
Bisous!
Erika
Erika
Why am I taking antibiotics if I don't have an infection?
6:22 PM Posted In cooking , lupus Edit This 0 Comments »
I have no idea why I am taking antibiotics when I don't have an infection. Oh yes, I know why! Just to be on the safe side. I love that about me, I can't ever take the dangerous route, I have to be safe all the time. I had the ultrasound of my renal system today to figure out what was wrong. Guess what? I still don't know what's wrong. Unfortunately I don't have the ability to read ultrasounds. Too bad Barnes and Noble seems to be out of the book I was looking for!
Experts say one shouldn't Google medical problems. But I've gotten so good at Google and deciphering my symptoms, 99% of the time my diagnosis is correct. That means 99% of the time I can figure out what's wrong and then when I go into the doctor, it gets confirmed. If I sound cocky, it's unintentional. I think it's a combination of me being a somewhat intelligent human being, I'm very in tune with my body and I listen to what it says, and I Google responsibly. Being an irresponsible Googler would be googling "headache" and believing you have a brain tumor when in reality you have a tension headache. I have my ideas on what I think my kidneys are doing. I'll be good and wait for the radiologist and internist to give me their diagnosis.
At least my ultrasound tech was friendly. She was a middle age woman who was actually a student, not to worry, her instructor was there the whole time. I don't think she missed a spot because every time I turned around I had to switch positions. Ultrasounds are not normally painful unless they press on an area which is already tender. For example, my kidneys. It hurt worse when I had to take a deep breath and hold it. But I'm a big girl and when it comes to pain, I'm a tough cookie. I think doctors have a difficult time with me because I don't feel pain like everyone else. If I do, it's a big, big deal. Except for the fact the pain for me is like a 1 or a 2. For someone else, it would probably be a 7 or 8. I've always had a high tolerance for pain and over the years I've learned to live with pain. It's gotten to the point where I can pretty much ignore all sorts of pain. I suppose it saves me money on pain killers?
Hopefully I will know something tomorrow, preferably in the morning! I am also planning to make homemade sugar free nutella chocolate chip cookies tomorrow! Mmm makes you wish you could come over and eat cookies with me? Just because they will have no sugar doesn't mean they won't be high in calories. I had to throw that warning out there. I was going to paint some today but I never got around to it. Now I'm too cold, brr!
Experts say one shouldn't Google medical problems. But I've gotten so good at Google and deciphering my symptoms, 99% of the time my diagnosis is correct. That means 99% of the time I can figure out what's wrong and then when I go into the doctor, it gets confirmed. If I sound cocky, it's unintentional. I think it's a combination of me being a somewhat intelligent human being, I'm very in tune with my body and I listen to what it says, and I Google responsibly. Being an irresponsible Googler would be googling "headache" and believing you have a brain tumor when in reality you have a tension headache. I have my ideas on what I think my kidneys are doing. I'll be good and wait for the radiologist and internist to give me their diagnosis.At least my ultrasound tech was friendly. She was a middle age woman who was actually a student, not to worry, her instructor was there the whole time. I don't think she missed a spot because every time I turned around I had to switch positions. Ultrasounds are not normally painful unless they press on an area which is already tender. For example, my kidneys. It hurt worse when I had to take a deep breath and hold it. But I'm a big girl and when it comes to pain, I'm a tough cookie. I think doctors have a difficult time with me because I don't feel pain like everyone else. If I do, it's a big, big deal. Except for the fact the pain for me is like a 1 or a 2. For someone else, it would probably be a 7 or 8. I've always had a high tolerance for pain and over the years I've learned to live with pain. It's gotten to the point where I can pretty much ignore all sorts of pain. I suppose it saves me money on pain killers?
Hopefully I will know something tomorrow, preferably in the morning! I am also planning to make homemade sugar free nutella chocolate chip cookies tomorrow! Mmm makes you wish you could come over and eat cookies with me? Just because they will have no sugar doesn't mean they won't be high in calories. I had to throw that warning out there. I was going to paint some today but I never got around to it. Now I'm too cold, brr!
Bisous!
Loverly Lupie Me
Loverly Lupie Me
Appendicitis or Fun Kidney Time?
10:40 AM Posted In doctors , lupus , mr. piddles Edit This 2 Comments »
Choices, choices. Which would you rather have, appendicitis or kidney issues? I'd rather have appendicitis. I have a 3:45 PM appointment with my internist to figure out what is going on. The pain started yesterday as a pain in the middle of my back and it went through to the middle of my abdomen. I woke up this morning with a horrendous pain in the right lower side of my back that again went through to my abdomen. I tried to sip some tea to see if that would help but it just made me nauseated. The common sense person would say "You have a stomach virus." I know what a stomach virus feels like and this is not it. I also know it's spring time, the last of the winter bugs are trying to make their appearance. But just to be on the safe side, I'm going to the doctor.
I can't eat or drink anything for now. I would kill for a promethazine but that requires me swallowing liquids. I've got a drugstore in my room but yet nothing is of use to me. I'm hanging out in the bathroom with my laptop. I've got my TV turned up loud. Regis and Kelly are talking about cars, I think there is some big auto show in New York this week? It's so funny how when you mention your kidneys might be having issues, everybody jumps in to hand over theirs. I don't think they realize the seriousness of it. If they do, they are truly awesome friends. The donor surgery and recovery time always seems to be longer than the time it takes for the person getting it. It's painful and it's a kidney. You have to think about the "What ifs?" What if your kidney goes kursplat in the future? What if you get injured and have damage to your only kidney? What happens if a certain medication chews your kidney up? What if you end up with some horrific disease that decides to chew up your kidney? You would definitely have to go on dialysis and you might even die if your renal failure is bad enough.
So yes, before you go throwing a kidney in my direction, let's rule out some stuff. First, we have to figure out if it could be a stomach virus, appendicitis, or kidney issues. Second of all, if it's a stomach virus, I just have to wait it out. If it's appendicitis it's a little slit, snip, yank, and sew and I'll be as good as new. If it's kidney related, whatever it is has to get diagnosed, then they determine if it can be treated with steroids, pain killers, immuno-suppressants, dialysis, and/or a transplant. If it's a transplant I get placed on the wonderfully long list, probably at the bottom. That's where the family/friend kidney comes into play. Plus you have to be a match, the better the match, the better of a chance it will work.
Of course I could just be crazy? But I don't go to the doctor unless I absolutely have to. I don't enjoy going and plus I don't want to drive the cost of health care up. Plus I'm feeling pain, I have a high tolerance for pain so if I'm feeling pain in the first place, it's a big deal! I stink at the pain scale thing because I never know what my pain is supposed to be. All I know is that I'm feeling it, it hurts, and pain medication ain't cutting it. I'll let y'all know how this afternoon goes! If all else fails, I'll have my sister get on and post a blog. Dangerous, very dangerous. Believe me, you'll know if it's her! She'll be talking about shoes and lip gloss.
I can't eat or drink anything for now. I would kill for a promethazine but that requires me swallowing liquids. I've got a drugstore in my room but yet nothing is of use to me. I'm hanging out in the bathroom with my laptop. I've got my TV turned up loud. Regis and Kelly are talking about cars, I think there is some big auto show in New York this week? It's so funny how when you mention your kidneys might be having issues, everybody jumps in to hand over theirs. I don't think they realize the seriousness of it. If they do, they are truly awesome friends. The donor surgery and recovery time always seems to be longer than the time it takes for the person getting it. It's painful and it's a kidney. You have to think about the "What ifs?" What if your kidney goes kursplat in the future? What if you get injured and have damage to your only kidney? What happens if a certain medication chews your kidney up? What if you end up with some horrific disease that decides to chew up your kidney? You would definitely have to go on dialysis and you might even die if your renal failure is bad enough.
So yes, before you go throwing a kidney in my direction, let's rule out some stuff. First, we have to figure out if it could be a stomach virus, appendicitis, or kidney issues. Second of all, if it's a stomach virus, I just have to wait it out. If it's appendicitis it's a little slit, snip, yank, and sew and I'll be as good as new. If it's kidney related, whatever it is has to get diagnosed, then they determine if it can be treated with steroids, pain killers, immuno-suppressants, dialysis, and/or a transplant. If it's a transplant I get placed on the wonderfully long list, probably at the bottom. That's where the family/friend kidney comes into play. Plus you have to be a match, the better the match, the better of a chance it will work.
Of course I could just be crazy? But I don't go to the doctor unless I absolutely have to. I don't enjoy going and plus I don't want to drive the cost of health care up. Plus I'm feeling pain, I have a high tolerance for pain so if I'm feeling pain in the first place, it's a big deal! I stink at the pain scale thing because I never know what my pain is supposed to be. All I know is that I'm feeling it, it hurts, and pain medication ain't cutting it. I'll let y'all know how this afternoon goes! If all else fails, I'll have my sister get on and post a blog. Dangerous, very dangerous. Believe me, you'll know if it's her! She'll be talking about shoes and lip gloss.
Bisous!
Loverly Lupie Me
Loverly Lupie Me
