On The Lupie Side Of The Street

I love the fall and winter and I know it's coming when the morning air gets a chill. When the leaves change from their lush green to oranges, reds, and yellows that paint the trees. I know my favorite times of year are coming when I see pumpkins, turkeys, and Christmas trees all at once. I get so excited for October because my Birthday is at the end of the month. I get excited for November because I officially start the Christmas season on Thanksgiving day. Nothing makes me happier than Christmas, it fills my heart with such joy that I can hardly contain it. I look forward to January because it's a new year, another year for me to experience amazing new things. I love February because there is always the chance for a bit of snow. But what I don't like about fall and winter is the fact that I can get sick, really sick, one foot in the grave sick.

This year I am particularly anxious about the fall and winter. Not only do I have to worry about the seasonal influenza which has tried to kill me before, this year I have to worry about H1N1. Now I'm sure most of you are saying "Oh go ahead and get the H1N1 vaccine." Well honestly, I'm apprehensive about it all. The first round of vaccines are the mist, which contain the live virus. The second and third rounds will be in the form of a shot and they will not contain the live virus. I know the CDC is saying that the vaccine is being tested to the same standards as the seasonal influenza vaccine, but that doesn't set my mind at ease. Not knowing the short or long term side affects of this drug and how it could affect all of my preexisting conditions scares me. I know it's supposed to be safe but I think most of the testing is meant for your average child or adult, not someone who is immunocompromised.

I also have to think about what would happen if I don't get the vaccine. I know I am at major risk of getting the H1N1 virus if I don't get the vaccine. I am well aware that more than likely it will be the end of me, no matter how hard I fight. I don't want to die, I have so much life left in me and I need to share it with the world. I need to go out and do big and small things that will impact lives of others in ways I cannot currently imagine. I can't do that if I'm dead. I feel like I am being selfish by not wanting to get the vaccine. Because I also feel the vaccine could make my lupus and everything else, worse. I'm afraid I could have a horrible reaction that in fact could be deadly. I'm afraid of the side effects that could happen in a week, month, year, and five years. I don't want to be one of the first people with lupus to get the vaccine. I also have to remember that every lupus case is different and therefore I can't depend on how other people react to it either.

I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. The fall and winter are my favorite times of year. But they also seem to be the times where I have to stare death straight in the eyes and say "Step off!" So while I have my Birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and snow days to look forward to, I also have to anticipate all the illnesses that come along. I'm scared, I don't like to admit when I'm scared, but I'm scared. I'm on the verge of tears knowing that in a couple of weeks I'm going to have to make one of the most important decisions of my life. Because this decision could definitely impact my life in ways I don't want to imagine. I know it's wrong of me to think this but I am too young. I'm too young to have to decide between a vaccine or a virus, especially when both could have such damaging effects. I feel like I can't win, I sound immature but I feel like I can't do this.

My life is going to change whether I want it to or not. All because of a virus and a vaccine. And it absolutely terrifies me.

Well, the job hunting has been somewhat unsuccessful this week. If you've been wondering where I have been, I've been out walking the pavement. I've called hundreds of businesses, and very few are hiring. All I can do is throw my application in the heap and hope for the best. Now I'm usually fairly optimistic about these sort of things. I used to get hired right on the spot, but that isn't the case anymore.

Here are the reasons why I won't get hired:

1. I'm being honest about having lupus. I try to put a positive spin on it but having a chronic illness is hardly seen as a positive in other people's eyes. It's better for me to tell them now rather than later. If I tell them later they will be mad at me for not being upfront and they will cut my hours until I'm down to zilch.
2. I haven't worked in quite a while, but I haven't been well enough to work. I've wanted to work but it's kind of hard to when you can't put one foot in front of the other.
3. Half of my past employers have closed down, that makes for a great phone call. ***Dials number "Ring, ring, ring... Doo doo doo... We're sorry but this number is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this message in error, please hang up and dial 0 for your operator. Thank you." Click***
   
4. I'm not really qualified to do much of anything, I can type fast, I'm great with customer service, but other than that, I've got nothing. I call myself a jack of all trades, master of none. I can do anything but I'm not "trained" for anything.
   
5. I go to church on Sunday mornings. If a business is open 7 days a week, chances are they want you to work on a Sunday. Yes, I know they are not supposed to hold that against me, but they do. If they compare an applicant of equal credentials who can work on a Sunday against me, I guarantee the other applicant will get the job.

So now I am in the big stack of people who are unemployed. I was hoping to have a job by next week so when I went to my rheumatologist I could say "Hey I have a job." The reason for that is because my Mom wants me to go on disability. First of all, I don't think of myself as disabled, but I need disability for the insurance after I'm 25. I will never be able to get insurance on my own because of my 12,000 preexisting conditions. But I feel like I am such a lazy bum asking to go on disability. I totally doubt he will even want to fill out the paper work for it. I feel like I am going to have to go in there begging and pleading. I'm dreading the thought of it. I also feel I would have a better chance of getting disability if I have a part time job. I feel it shows that I am trying to be a productive member of society. I just don't want to sit around with a disability check from month to month. I want to be out there, working, volunteering, and being a productive member of society.

Anyone freaked out about the H1N1 virus? It is fondly known as the Oinky Oinkster virus to me. Yes, I know that one cannot catch the H1N1 virus from eating pork. Well, even if you could, it wouldn't affect me because I very rarely eat pork. I'm not too worried about it, there are only two cases in my area and both persons had recently traveled to Mexico.

Here's the minute where I might start to feel panicky. If a school in my area all of a sudden develops cases, that's the point where I'm going to be a little bit freaked. Why? Because children are walking petri dishes. Yes they are cute, adorable, and 98% of them are loving, but that doesn't excuse it. They touch everything and then they touch their faces without washing their hands. It doesn't matter how much you teach your child proper hygiene, it just isn't going to happen. In their opinion, playing video games is more important than washing their hands after going "potty." Therefore all these little children will be running around spreading the love of the H1N1 virus with each other. I know it seems like I don't like children, I'm quite good with children, I've earned the nickname of "The Baby Whisperer."

This is my plan of action if I get the H1N1 virus, either I'm going to live or I'm going to die (hopefully not). Plain and simple. If I live, YAY, it will be an amazing story to tell to someonesgrand kids who aren't my own sixty something years from now. Now some people are saying that Tamiflu won't help to get rid of the H1N1 virus. Does that matter for me? Nope! You want to know why? Because I cannot take Tamiflu or Relenza! Yay, if I get to experience the H1N1 virus and I get to have the full party experience. I will probably be one of the few people who actually needs to be hospitalized if I catch it. Will be able to be hospitalized? Nope! You want to know why again? Because the hospitals will be so overcrowded with people who don't actually need to be in there. Will they be miserable feeling? Probably. But 99% of them can be sent home with a script of Tamiflu or Relenza with the orders of bed rest, fluids, and antipyretics. Yay for the pandemic flu for taxing the already taxed health care system.

Here are my rules for the Oinky Oinkster virus (I know I'm just reiterating but maybe someone is reading this blog who has been living under a rock):

1. Wash your hands, if you don't know how, here's how. Turn on the water, stick your hands under the water, rinse them well. Remove hands from water, add soap, lather vigorously while singing Happy Birthday twice in your head (or out loud if you think you're on American Idol). Rinse your hands thoroughly and dry preferably with a clean towel or paper towel. If leaving a public restroom, turn off the water with the paper towel, open the door to leave the restroom with the paper towel, find a trash can and place the paper towel in it when finished.
2. Do not, under any circumstances touch your mouth, nose, eyes or general face area without washing your hands or using a hand sanitizer. Viruses are not immobile, if they are on your cheek, they will find their way to either your mouth, nose, or eyes.
   
3. Take a moment and wipe down door knobs in your house with a disinfectant wipe. Also, wipe down your cell phone and even your computer key board (just not with the same wipe, otherwise you're just transferring germs).
4. You can eat pork, it is perfectly safe. In this day in age we no longer have to worry about trichinosis because pigs no longer eat trash for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. The only way you could possibly get it is if you eat raw or undercooked pork. Experts argue what the internal temperature of the pork product should be at the end of cooking. Some say 140 degrees Fahrenheit will kill the Trichinella worm, others say to cook until the product is 170 degrees Fahrenheit. I think about 150 degrees Fahrenheit should suffice especially if you don't want the pork to be dried up.
5. If you're sick, stay home. If you have children, as obnoxious as it is to have children around when you are sick, keep them home too. Why? Because going they are to catch it and they can spread the virus around one day before they start exhibiting symptoms. So if little Johnny goes over to play at Billy's house when you are at home with the H1N1 virus, Johnny will get Billy sick. Then Billy will get his family sick, and then Billy's family will get someone else sick. I know it seems like overkill, but better to be safe than sorry, right? Do you really want to be the cause of getting your entire community sick? I don't think so.
6. Please put your dirty tissues in a proper trash receptacle, if you can, wash your hands after dirtying a tissue. Of course when you have the flu this seems a bit extreme especially when you feel like you can't move. So every few tissues use some hand sanitizer to keep from reinfecting yourself.
7. Don't flood the ER either. Call your primary care physician first. If you do not have insurance call your state's hot line for questions about the H1N1 virus. I think that every state has a hot line up and running by now. If you don't know your state's hot line number by now, Google it. When all else fails, call the CDC Pandemic Flu hot line at 800-CDC-INFO (800-232-4636) or TTY: 888-232-6348. The reason for calling your physician before you come in is so they can take the proper precautions to limit the transmission of the virus to others.

Well, that's all I have to report right now. If anyone out there has a job opening available, please let me know. I'm willing to do just about anything. I'm a hard worker, extremely motivated, and when you get me around customers, I'm all smiles. I really wish Life is good was down where I live. I would love, love, love, love, love to work for them. I think it would be the perfect career path for me, even if I was stuck in the mail room. I need to go clean, cook, and clean some more, I'm a housewife without a husband. Oh and on a side note, Gmail isn't working for me today, how exciting!