On The Lupie Side Of The Street

No, I have not been around coughing Mexican pigs. But that's the question that my rheumatologist asked me upon finding out that I have had a fever and sore throat as of lately. I suppose it would have been more professional if he asked "Have you been around persons who have been diagnosed with the H1N1 virus?" My doctor has the oddest ways of phrasing questions and I can't help but to find them hilarious. A few months back I was having all sorts of heart problems. When we couldn't figure out why he asked me the following: "Have you been snorting copious amounts of cocaine and drinking a venti latte all while running a marathon?" Of course my answer was no. I love the word copious in that question, it made the sentence that much better.

So right now I am in the process of trying to figure out how I am going to keep my current insurance after I'm 25. Now I'm not positive but my Mom thinks all they might need is for my doctors to fax the company my records. For a while there, we thought I was going to have to go on disability and go through that hassle. I'm against disability for myself, let me tell you why. I may be dead dog tired most days, but I don't see myself as disabled. I may hurt so much that I can't get out of bed, but I don't see myself as disabled. I may have fevers that try and take me out for the count, but I don't see myself as disabled. I feel I would be abusing the system by going on disability. I don't deserve disability anymore than someone who has a paper cut.

I want to work, I want to be self sufficient, I want to be a decent, productive human being. But if attempting to get on disability is the only way I can stay on my Mom's insurance, I don't have a choice. I cannot afford my own insurance plan and there is no way my Mom could help with the financial side of it. Having my own plan also may cause me to switch doctors, which I don't want to do. I love my doctors and nurses. They have all been fabulous to me and done nothing but help me to feel better! So I need y'all to hope, pray, jump backwards, do what you got to do to make it work that I am able to stay on my Mom's plan without going on disability.

In other news, I'm absolutely enthralled that so many people are reading my blog. It makes me feel like I have a voice and that maybe my blog is helping someone? Or at least it gives those around me a glimpse into my life. I'm just thrilled to have an audience. Oh, and I've definitely gained weight, I'm up to 101 according to the lovely scale at the doctor's office. I know it's a good thing for me to weigh this much, but I feel fat. I feel really fat and dumpy. I think I need to upgrade my lazy walking to speed walking. I would love to take up yoga but I have no where to start. One of these days I'm going to get a Wii and a Wii Fit so I can have fun exercise time! But that's going to be a year or more from now, I have a lot of expenses I need to focus on for now.

I'm probably going to go job hunting again tomorrow, at least online. I am currently in the process of turning my sister's room into a craft room. It's taking some time and a lot of cleaning supplies. My sister's room hasn't exactly been known for it's cleanliness. No offense sissy, and you also have about 2 bags of stuff you need to pick up. Old computer stuff, APO junk, other randomness that you can stuff your apartment with. I would love to eventually paint Lindsay's room a darker color, just like my room. Of course that is up to my Mom but my sister's room needs it just like my room needed it.

Well, I just finished a lovely lunch of baked salmon, brown rice, and edamame. I need to brush my teeth and then continue with the cleaning festivities. And Gmail is acting screwy with me again!

Well I didn't get the job I applied for last week. It seems as if they were only hiring for temporary employment and I supposed I didn't fill those qualifications. I would have been thrilled to do a bit of temp work, something for some back up cash to hold me over. Apparently if someone on their permanent staff quits, I'm next up to be called in. I hope that's the truth and not a lie said to make me feel better. I've also applied for jobs with some banks in my area and some legitimate listings on Craiglist. I keep thinking that something, somewhere has to give. But of course there are thousands and thousands of people who are unemployed and thinking the same thing. I wish I could find a legitimate work from home business, but everything turns out to be a scam. Grr, frustrating.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with my rheumatologist. As pathetic as this sounds, I'm hoping if something has to go wrong, it goes wrong now, before I'm employed. I kind of want the bad stuff to go ahead and get out of the way before I move onto a better part of my life. Of course I know that life doesn't work like that, but wouldn't it be great if it did? Wouldn't it be lovely if people with chronic illnesses could just get the icky nasty stuff out of the way and then go on with life? It would be like cheating the system but wouldn't life be just a smidge better? We wouldn't have the thoughts hovering over us such as "Are my kidneys going to go kursplatt any time soon?" Well all of this is just a bunch of silly wishing. I'm of course hoping that all is well tomorrow and it continues to stay well. Hopefully y'all understand by now is that it never really is well, it's just as good as can be expected.

Today was the first day in a few days where I actually felt coherent enough to do something. I went out with my sister Lindsay and her friend Margot. We went to Target, Sally Beauty Supply, and The Olive Garden for lunch. My sister and I split the chicken alfredo pizza and Margot had the pasta pomadore. Afterwards we went to my sister's apartment where I went into hair stylist mode and did Margot and Lindsay's hair. I have fun playing around with people's hair but I could never be a stylist. I trust myself with scissors when it comes to paper, but with people's hair, I don't think so! I also managed to take a long walk today because I wasn't able to yesterday.

That's all I have to update for now. Oh, I forgot, my Dad started to chew me out today. But I nipped it in the bud. Way to go for me being assertive and not putting up with his bull hockey! I think I showed him that I'm not going to take it and if he wants to get rude, he can get rude with someone else.

I woke up this morning, hoping to be productive since I definitely was not productive yesterday. As soon as I got out of bed to make breakfast my body said "Excuse me, but I don't think so." Yes, my body talks to me and it can be quite rude! By the time I dragged my breakfast and myself up the stairs again, I knew I would have to give into my worst enemy. Bed rest. Ugh, the thought of it makes me feel like a lazy, worthless slug. So I flopped myself into bed and resigned myself to the fact that I would be spending the rest of my day under the covers. For most people this sounds like the most delightful day, relaxing in bed, watching TV, and basically doing nothing. It's hard for me because I'm trying to get my life back and for every step forward I take, I end up taking two steps back.

I'm assuming I'm in the middle of a flare, otherwise I have the dreaded swine flu. I seriously doubt that I do though because I haven't been to Mexico, nor have I been around people who have gone there. Between the fever and the body ache I have going on, I feel as if I've been run over by a tractor trailer. Thank goodness for the news. It's great to drift in and out of sleep to. Oh and you know I'm sick when I take naps, I don't take naps, I hate naps. But here lately all I've been able to do is nap. There has to be a solution to all of this other than laying in bed and sleeping.

I probably should have added a counter to my blog from the get go, but I didn't know I could. I just realized yesterday that it was something I could do. Earlier 12 people had viewed my blog since yesterday evening. It makes me happy knowing that 12 people have read my blog! OK, maybe not read, possibly skimmed, but still, it's a start! For a while there I felt like only one or two people actually read it because hardly anyone ever comments. If you don't comment, start commenting, you don't have to have an account to my knowledge. It will let me know who's reading it and maybe we can get to know each other?

Well I can barely balance my computer on my lap and keep my eyes open. Sleep is beckoning me, again. Goodnight even though it's mid afternoon. Oh and for those of you who watch House, wasn't last night's episode fantastic? I can't wait for the season finale!

Today was supposed to be a productive day, unfortunately, it really wasn't. I woke up this morning feeling exhausted, I knew I wouldn't be able to do everything I had planned. When these days happen, it makes me nervous about beginning to work again. Am I supposed to risk calling in sick just because I am exhausted beyond belief? Will I looked at as lazy and be fired? I'm definitely not expecting pay for sick days. I also understand in order for a business to be successful, they need all employees to be on deck.

This is something I need to bring up with my rheumatologist on Thursday. "So Dr. So and So I've been increasingly tired lately, and let me tell you, it stinks. I'm looking for a part time job with no luck. I want to work, I really do! Do you have any ideas on how I can combat the exhaustion I face on a day to day basis? Without excessive caffeine? Any thoughts? No? Oh well, thanks." That will probably be what happens. Have you ever been so tired you can't see straight? That's been me today. Or it could be the Plaquenil making me blind, oops! If my vision is still wonky tomorrow, I'll definitely call the eye doctor and say "Excuse me, something isn't right with my eyes, fix it, now!"

Did you know this month on the Martha Stewart she is going to have an Asian Noodle show, a Man Show, and a Mother's Day show. How exciting, an entire show devoted to noodles. I'll watch it though, only because I not so secretly wish to be perfect like Martha. The only thing that gets my goat is that sometimes she can be a bit on the rude side. Maybe the whole holier than thou complex makes her feel better at the end of the day? She sometimes acts like that everyone can afford everything that is on her show. That everyone should go to the best restaurants even if it means flying across the country. Um, hi Martha, have you noticed we are in the midst of an economic downturn? Oh, sorry, you were too busy planning designs for the packaging of your sheets which are the same ones from Kmart but you're selling at Macy's now.

I'm exhausted, a new House comes on in 58 minutes. Must try not to nap. OK, maybe just a baby nap?

I'm at a loss on what to blog about! For once, I don't have something to say. Job hunting is still going slow with not many leads. Tomorrow I am going to pursue some leads and forge the trails on my own. That is of course after I go to the dentist for a lovely cleaning. I'm lucky I get my teeth cleaned every three months. Yes, it's more expensive but because I have lupus I don't have a choice. It's just one of those things for me. Also tomorrow the conversation of crowns will be brought up and for now I can afford one crown on a payment plan. I have a horrible mouth, half is genetics and half is lupus. I'm just going to do everything I can to prevent it from getting worse. I think my dentist should start doing a "Buy one get one free" deal with me. I should at least have a frequent flyer card!

My sister just called the house, she always calls when I am in the middle of doing something. We actually had a productive conversation about job hunting. She is going to stay on the lookout for me. I told her my criteria because I am just getting back in the work world and I don't want to push my limitations.

• I'm looking to work about four days a week.
• Each day I want to work between four to five hours.
• I would prefer to work in the mornings because as the afternoon progresses into evening, my lupus loves to misbehave.
  
• I need to have a job where I can be sitting most of the time. Silly auto-immune disorder.
• I would like to work for a smaller company because then I will become indispensable (hopefully) due to my cheery and optimistic disposition.
• I need my employer to be OK with me having lupus, to understand that I may have to take a sick day every now and again. Believe me, I won't take a sick day unless I feeling like death on a stick.

If it turns out once I start working that I feel I can do more, than I will. But my rheumatologist has stressed, stressed, and stressed some more to be aware of my limitations. Sometimes I think he is more concerned about my conditions than I am. Does he know something I don't? Probably, but he's a pretty good doctor so I trust his judgment.

I went to church this morning. I love how everyone will talk to me for about five seconds and then go talk to my parents about me. Erm, hello! I'm 23 years old and I can talk for myself, I'm sorry if I don't divulge too many details. But that doesn't give you permission to go get it from my parents either. It especially bothers me when my Dad so freely gives out details about me to others and yet he barely says a word to me. He calls me the ghost, such as when he hears a rumbling in the kitchen "Is the ghost in the kitchen?" It's partially because I am so quiet and light on my feet that you can hardly hear me coming.

So wish me luck tomorrow. I'll be out begging for a job like every other person out there! What's even better is that is is going to be raining. Fabulous! Thank goodness for a raincoat.

Well, the job hunting has been somewhat unsuccessful this week. If you've been wondering where I have been, I've been out walking the pavement. I've called hundreds of businesses, and very few are hiring. All I can do is throw my application in the heap and hope for the best. Now I'm usually fairly optimistic about these sort of things. I used to get hired right on the spot, but that isn't the case anymore.

Here are the reasons why I won't get hired:

1. I'm being honest about having lupus. I try to put a positive spin on it but having a chronic illness is hardly seen as a positive in other people's eyes. It's better for me to tell them now rather than later. If I tell them later they will be mad at me for not being upfront and they will cut my hours until I'm down to zilch.
2. I haven't worked in quite a while, but I haven't been well enough to work. I've wanted to work but it's kind of hard to when you can't put one foot in front of the other.
3. Half of my past employers have closed down, that makes for a great phone call. ***Dials number "Ring, ring, ring... Doo doo doo... We're sorry but this number is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this message in error, please hang up and dial 0 for your operator. Thank you." Click***
   
4. I'm not really qualified to do much of anything, I can type fast, I'm great with customer service, but other than that, I've got nothing. I call myself a jack of all trades, master of none. I can do anything but I'm not "trained" for anything.
   
5. I go to church on Sunday mornings. If a business is open 7 days a week, chances are they want you to work on a Sunday. Yes, I know they are not supposed to hold that against me, but they do. If they compare an applicant of equal credentials who can work on a Sunday against me, I guarantee the other applicant will get the job.

So now I am in the big stack of people who are unemployed. I was hoping to have a job by next week so when I went to my rheumatologist I could say "Hey I have a job." The reason for that is because my Mom wants me to go on disability. First of all, I don't think of myself as disabled, but I need disability for the insurance after I'm 25. I will never be able to get insurance on my own because of my 12,000 preexisting conditions. But I feel like I am such a lazy bum asking to go on disability. I totally doubt he will even want to fill out the paper work for it. I feel like I am going to have to go in there begging and pleading. I'm dreading the thought of it. I also feel I would have a better chance of getting disability if I have a part time job. I feel it shows that I am trying to be a productive member of society. I just don't want to sit around with a disability check from month to month. I want to be out there, working, volunteering, and being a productive member of society.

Anyone freaked out about the H1N1 virus? It is fondly known as the Oinky Oinkster virus to me. Yes, I know that one cannot catch the H1N1 virus from eating pork. Well, even if you could, it wouldn't affect me because I very rarely eat pork. I'm not too worried about it, there are only two cases in my area and both persons had recently traveled to Mexico.

Here's the minute where I might start to feel panicky. If a school in my area all of a sudden develops cases, that's the point where I'm going to be a little bit freaked. Why? Because children are walking petri dishes. Yes they are cute, adorable, and 98% of them are loving, but that doesn't excuse it. They touch everything and then they touch their faces without washing their hands. It doesn't matter how much you teach your child proper hygiene, it just isn't going to happen. In their opinion, playing video games is more important than washing their hands after going "potty." Therefore all these little children will be running around spreading the love of the H1N1 virus with each other. I know it seems like I don't like children, I'm quite good with children, I've earned the nickname of "The Baby Whisperer."

This is my plan of action if I get the H1N1 virus, either I'm going to live or I'm going to die (hopefully not). Plain and simple. If I live, YAY, it will be an amazing story to tell to someonesgrand kids who aren't my own sixty something years from now. Now some people are saying that Tamiflu won't help to get rid of the H1N1 virus. Does that matter for me? Nope! You want to know why? Because I cannot take Tamiflu or Relenza! Yay, if I get to experience the H1N1 virus and I get to have the full party experience. I will probably be one of the few people who actually needs to be hospitalized if I catch it. Will be able to be hospitalized? Nope! You want to know why again? Because the hospitals will be so overcrowded with people who don't actually need to be in there. Will they be miserable feeling? Probably. But 99% of them can be sent home with a script of Tamiflu or Relenza with the orders of bed rest, fluids, and antipyretics. Yay for the pandemic flu for taxing the already taxed health care system.

Here are my rules for the Oinky Oinkster virus (I know I'm just reiterating but maybe someone is reading this blog who has been living under a rock):

1. Wash your hands, if you don't know how, here's how. Turn on the water, stick your hands under the water, rinse them well. Remove hands from water, add soap, lather vigorously while singing Happy Birthday twice in your head (or out loud if you think you're on American Idol). Rinse your hands thoroughly and dry preferably with a clean towel or paper towel. If leaving a public restroom, turn off the water with the paper towel, open the door to leave the restroom with the paper towel, find a trash can and place the paper towel in it when finished.
2. Do not, under any circumstances touch your mouth, nose, eyes or general face area without washing your hands or using a hand sanitizer. Viruses are not immobile, if they are on your cheek, they will find their way to either your mouth, nose, or eyes.
   
3. Take a moment and wipe down door knobs in your house with a disinfectant wipe. Also, wipe down your cell phone and even your computer key board (just not with the same wipe, otherwise you're just transferring germs).
4. You can eat pork, it is perfectly safe. In this day in age we no longer have to worry about trichinosis because pigs no longer eat trash for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. The only way you could possibly get it is if you eat raw or undercooked pork. Experts argue what the internal temperature of the pork product should be at the end of cooking. Some say 140 degrees Fahrenheit will kill the Trichinella worm, others say to cook until the product is 170 degrees Fahrenheit. I think about 150 degrees Fahrenheit should suffice especially if you don't want the pork to be dried up.
5. If you're sick, stay home. If you have children, as obnoxious as it is to have children around when you are sick, keep them home too. Why? Because going they are to catch it and they can spread the virus around one day before they start exhibiting symptoms. So if little Johnny goes over to play at Billy's house when you are at home with the H1N1 virus, Johnny will get Billy sick. Then Billy will get his family sick, and then Billy's family will get someone else sick. I know it seems like overkill, but better to be safe than sorry, right? Do you really want to be the cause of getting your entire community sick? I don't think so.
6. Please put your dirty tissues in a proper trash receptacle, if you can, wash your hands after dirtying a tissue. Of course when you have the flu this seems a bit extreme especially when you feel like you can't move. So every few tissues use some hand sanitizer to keep from reinfecting yourself.
7. Don't flood the ER either. Call your primary care physician first. If you do not have insurance call your state's hot line for questions about the H1N1 virus. I think that every state has a hot line up and running by now. If you don't know your state's hot line number by now, Google it. When all else fails, call the CDC Pandemic Flu hot line at 800-CDC-INFO (800-232-4636) or TTY: 888-232-6348. The reason for calling your physician before you come in is so they can take the proper precautions to limit the transmission of the virus to others.

Well, that's all I have to report right now. If anyone out there has a job opening available, please let me know. I'm willing to do just about anything. I'm a hard worker, extremely motivated, and when you get me around customers, I'm all smiles. I really wish Life is good was down where I live. I would love, love, love, love, love to work for them. I think it would be the perfect career path for me, even if I was stuck in the mail room. I need to go clean, cook, and clean some more, I'm a housewife without a husband. Oh and on a side note, Gmail isn't working for me today, how exciting!