Listen Up Lupus!

7:48 PM Posted In Edit This 0 Comments »
Dear Lupus,
I know that you love taking residence in my body. As much as I detest your presence I am unfortunately stuck with you. I wish you would just pack up and leave, in the same way that allergies do every spring. I know my body is all warm, comfy, and let's face it, dysfunctional. I understand that it's a mansion to you and you rule the roost. Well guess what? If I had my way, I would have kicked you out on the street eons ago.

Since we have to live together for as long as we both shall live, we might as well have some ground rules. First of all, you are no longer allowed to give me crazy lesions in my mouth and throat. I know you love destroying my mouth and my dentist loves you for it. But you need to stop, now. Second of all, bug off with the rashes. I truly do appreciate the fact that you do not take residence on my face. But the fabulous rash I'm rocking on my arm is really making me rethink wearing that short sleeved shirt I was planning to wear on Saturday. Of course you just don't care. How about my joints? If you want to make the joints in my fingers hurt, let's try one hand at a time. That way I can still do things with the other hand. If you want to make my knees feel like they are going to disconnect from my thighs and calves, do it on a day when I'm not working. Oh and enough with the dearn twitching! I really do not appreciate the sudden and very random electrical pulses that flow through my body. I look like an idiot when it happens. I know there are some things I can't get rid of, like kidney infections, digestive difficulties, and heart issues. Just give me a break on everything else.

I'm learning to live with you, Lupus. I'm appreciating my good days and understanding my bad ones. I give you as much rest as I can afford while leading a somewhat normal life. I'm trying to do everything I can to accommodate your lengthy visit. We might as well go to Vegas and get married at this point. I don't want you to rule my life and I tell people that you don't. Truthfully, you do. You own me, every dearn part of me. I wish you didn't, I wish I could be normal like I used to be. I also know I am extremely lucky and I should be thankful for each day I'm alive. Some days I'm not, I know it sounds rude and inconsiderate to you. But some days you make me wish I could just go ahead and die. Somewhere though, deep down inside of me, something forces me to keep going. Despite the complications you inflict on me, I am better than you. I will not give up just because you make me miserable. I will not give you that satisfaction.

I want us to get along. Do you think one day we could be friends? If you start to be respectful of me and my body, I'll respect you as a disease. Life is about compromise you know? You think you could start to compromise with me? I hope you are listening to me and I'm not wasting my time. I'm just hoping for the one day when I'll be completely OK.