On The Lupie Side Of The Street

I have had the week from hell. When I mean hell, I mean H-E-L-L. It has been absolutely horrific, one thing right after another. I've been having pretty severe chest pains for a bit of time now and I finally went to the doctor for it. If you didn't know, I'm very much a grin and bear it person. Turns out my heart is a tad bit swollen, I can totally thank lupus for that one. I also got x-ray results back today and I am now the proud owner of a lovely case of costochondritis. Again, thank you lupus.

To make matters worse, in the hustle and bustle of running around the hospital getting tests done, I lost my high school class ring. You're probably thinking "A high school class ring, big deal?" I wear very few pieces of jewelry and I've worn this one ring every day since high school. I loved my ring and without it, I feel like a horrible person. I cannot believe I was stupid enough to lose one of my favorite pieces of jewelry. I could get it replaced but it won't be the same. This ring has gone on so many mission trips, it's been through so many hours of community service, it's gone to Europe! It's been through first love, lost love, and there's no way this could be love. I feel like I lost a little piece of myself and I keep beating myself up for losing it.

But in the midst of all of this pain, I've been trying to keep my spirits up. My friend M&M was cutting my hair the other day and I was talking about a new plan. I wanted to start knitting scarves for the homeless once I had a steady source of income. My plan was to start knitting in the spring and summer, trying to knit one scarf a week. I was going to donate the scarves to be given out to homeless people so they could stay warm in the fall, winter, and early spring. I feel so sad for the homeless people on a really cold night because a lot of them have no where to go. They aren't as lucky as me, they don't have anywhere to go to warm up and take the chill off.

M&M started talking about how she wanted to tithe but she wasn't sure where she wanted to tithe to. I started listing a bunch of local organizations and charities that could definitely benefit from financial donations. Every organization I listed got shot down, finally she tells me she wants to buy my yarn. It all fell into place, every week she would give me a bit of money and I would buy the yarn and knit the scarves. It felt perfect to me, it was like a gift was being given to me. With M&M's help, I'll be able to help keep so many homeless people warm next winter. Thank you M&M for helping me make my dream possible, I couldn't do this without you.

So as much as I've had a week from hell, I'm well aware it could be much worse. On a night like tonight when it is freezing cold, I could be homeless and chilled to the bone. I could be sleeping on a bench instead of on my comfortable bed. I could be out in the bitter cold, shielding myself from the wind in an alley, but I'm in my room with my mini heater on. Sure I'm exhausted, in pain, and worn down to the bone. But every single homeless person out there tonight is exhausted, in pain, worn down to the bone, and they have to stay out in the cold. Hopefully by next winter M&M and I will be able to make the lives of homeless people a bit more bearable.

I think M&M and I desperately needed this little piece of hope, knowing that we are making a difference. Our scarves are going to change lives. While having a swollen heart and costochondritis is going to change my life, I can still do good things. I can still help others. I can still be the Erika I want to be with help from my dearest friends.