The Ah-maz-ing Potion

8:01 PM Posted In , , Edit This 2 Comments »
Today I hung out with one of my closest friends and his daughter. We went to story time at the library and as I looked at all the children, all I could think was what amazing little things they are. They were still so young, I'm guessing under the age of two. They are small yet resilient, the world is their playground, and they are filled with joy. Even when they cry, it isn't long before they are laughing and smiling again. The little things appear to be brand new, over and over again, like the glimmer of a necklace. Small children constantly seem joyful to me, it's the smile on their face, the way the light shines in their hair, they can be like angels on earth.

It makes me think, "Why can't we all be like that?" Why can't we act like the world is our playground and find beauty in the small things? Why can't we shed a few tears and then smile suddenly? And why can't things in our life be new over and over again?

Sometimes I cook and I do something perfectly, I step back and admire the beauty of my dish. It's as if I've never cooked it before and I'm so proud of myself for doing well. Whenever I am feeling down and teary eyed, a friend somehow knows. They call, text, or email me and in those moments where I feel so alone, I realize I'm not and I smile. Every time I see orange day lilies, it's as if I'm seeing them for the first time. And the beauty of orange roses never fails to capture my heart, how the tips of the petals are always a deeper shade, it mesmerizes me. When I can remember that the world is my oyster, I'm a better person for it.

Today, the world was my oyster. I woke up feeling great, I wasn't in any pain, I wasn't sick to my stomach, and I could think clearly. No touch of a fever, no shaky sort of feeling, I felt completely normal. It was as if I was back in high school again and I was getting ready to bounce off to school. It just so happened that my friend called and I was invited to have a bit of fun. We went to story time, ran some errands, and then went back to the house. How wonderful it was to sit on the floor and play with blocks! I know I sound like a loony, but the simple things do it for me. And as much as I dislike reading the princess the same book over and over again, it seems brand new to her. I loved the random conversations I shared with my friend and how we goofed off and rough housed. No one will play around with me these days, I look breakable. But I proved today that I'm not! I don't think I have felt so happy in such a long time, I felt normal.

Of course all good things must come to an end and so did my perfect day. I started to have some inflammation and usually I am a grin and bear it type of gal, but I knew not to mess around with this. I was supposed to cook dinner and I was so excited about it. Unfortunately on the way to the grocery is when the proverbial shit hit the fan. I wanted so badly to just tough it out, to shut up and deal, but my friend knew something was wrong. I decided it was best for all parties involved to go home and rest up, so I could meet tomorrow with a smile. And I really do hate it when that happens, when all seems well and then then my life is all of a sudden grabbed from me. I realize at those points that I am not normal, that my life is different, but it's going to be ok.

I'm at home now, with my heating pad, in bed, and watching a special on ABC, J.K. Rowling: A Year In The Life. While I'm not really into Harry Potter, I enjoy the films on occasion but the books dragged on a little much for me. I realize that even though I'm not a wizard, and I don't go to Hogwarts, my life is magical. Today was magical for me, I was granted a small, magical gift that I wasn't expecting. It was like someone cast a feel good spell on me or I drank an ah-maz-ing potion. Even though my ah-maz-ing potion ran out, I have hope that one day soon I'll be granted another magical moment.



LFA said...

Can you pass this along via your blog, and to all your contacts?

Lupus Foundation of America Needs Your Help -- Urge Your Senators to Cosponsor S. 1630, the Affordable Access to Prescription Medications Act

Go to

Click on the link "Urge Your Senators to Cosponsor S. 1630, the Affordable Access to Prescription Medications Act," enter your zip code in the box called “Call Now” and click on the “go” button. You’ll then be presented with the contact information for your senators, as well as get talking points for what to say when you call.

Please ask your family, friends and coworkers to call on your behalf as well.

Anonymous said...

hey, i'm having Lupus since i was 16, and now i'm 30 now. 14 years!
but i'm well now, taking hydroxychroloquine 1 tablet/day at the moment. live goes normal to me, but of course i do take care about my *daily sunlight intake*. :)
dont worry, it's gonna be ok!