5 Things

6:51 PM Posted In , Edit This 0 Comments »
When most people are asked to describe me, I usually find out they say the following things about me:
  • Giving
  • Enthusiastic
  • Caring
  • Optimistic
  • Brave
When I think about those words, I begin to question them. Am I really that giving? Is my personality that enthusiastic? Do I really show a caring side? Am I always optimistic? And why do you think I'm brave? Sure, I love to paint pictures and give them away even though I could try to sell them. I spend time signing up for free samples and then donating them to my church. You could say I'm fairly peppy, I would describe myself as "alive." On a good day I'm like a chipmunk on a triple espresso who is preparing to run a marathon. I'm that wired once I get going, but those days are few and far between. I care, just as much as the next person, of course I care about things I can't fix, but dearly want to. I think up way too many plans on how to fix common (sad) problems like hunger, homelessness, and illiteracy.

I'm mostly a realist, I don't see myself as a super optimistic person. If something is real, on paper, in a chart, I can't dispute it, but I certainly cannot let it rule me. Will it affect me? Of course it will, but it won't control me. I control me, no one and nothing else ever will, I will always do my personal best. If I'm having a bad week all I can do is hope that it will get better. For example, right now I'm jobless like the tens of thousands of people out there. But all I can do is apply, apply, apply! All I can do is spread the word that I want to work. There are a few places that I would really love to work for, but I'm fairly open at this point. I just keep hoping that someone will read this and say "Wouldn't this gal be lovely at our business?" One day things are going to get better, I'm going to get a job, I'm going to love it, and I'm going to become the person I aspire to be.

Last night I watched the Michael J. Fox special on ABC, Adventures of an Incurable Optimist. He traveled the world for this show, constantly optimistic, finding new sources of strength and hope. It was an excellent show and I am hoping that ABC puts it on their website for people to watch. I wish I could be as inspiring as Michael J. Fox, of course he has earned his optimism. He has lived with Parkinson's disease, a cruel neurological disorder, for ten years now. Yet, has he let that stop him in his tracks? Has he stopped living, working, and hoping for a cure? No. Kind of like me I suppose, I'm living, working, and hoping for a cure for lupus. Yes, it can be controlled with some medications, but what happens when they stop working? I believe that with Michael J. Fox's help, stem cell research is going to explode in the next five years. Who knows, maybe in all the research they'll find a cure for lupus?

Do I deserve the title of an incurable optimist? No. But I'm doing the best I can do with what I've got. Maybe one day I can travel the world with my wisdom and wild spirit. And when I do, I'll share the hope that I have with every person I meet. For now, I'll just share my hope with y'all reading this, and with those who surround me.